My mother in law is very demanding around the holidays and her birthday. She wants a cake, she wants expensive gifts, she won't use what you get her unless it was at the top of her list, etc.
My husband also has two half sisters who he treats like regular sisters and he has one blood sister. So we have to buy 4 birthday gifts, and 4 X-mas gifts for them. Their ages are 8,9,16, and 38. I get very fed up spending money on them and hunting for what they'll like because they (the kids especially) just throw it away or don't use it and tell us when we have an argument that our gifts are cheap. The one year we bought his sister a watch. That's pretty generous considering she doesn't buy us anything for our birthdays and on X-Mas she says to me "Sorry, but I didn't have enough money to get you anything." She says this year after year and it's getting old and she likes to make me feel left out!
So to unravel all of this tension I think I'm just going to have hubby give out cards, that way we didn't forget their birthdays, but we don't feel pressured to give expensive gifts. We had a baby last year and she'll be one in Nov. right before the holidays, so I'm stressing right now thinking how we'll afford her b-day and X-Mas!
So once you stop giving gifts and only give cards, and stick to it, is that ok? Even if they still buy us things? I would like it if hubby would tell his family we don't want gifts, that would even things out a bit!
Suggestions? I was thinking maybe Dollar store gifts for the two young ones, but eventually they'll just get snobbish at age 12 and ask for money (they already do!) or something less cheap!
Last year we bought them things but kept our X-Mas shopping under for all of them. It was very hard to do, and we weren't able to buy anything for our own daughter. She never had a first Christmas and I regret that!
Last year we bought them things but kept our X-Mas shopping under for all of them. It was very hard to do, and we weren't able to buy anything for our own daughter. She never had a first Christmas and I regret that!
I think a lot of it is how they are raised! The younger ones look for birthday gifts and want to know ahead of time what they are getting. They also change their minds on what they like, so it's impossible to know what to get them.
It just irriates me how they expect gifts for everything. I wasn't raised like this and they are so inappreciative! We have had financial struggles and still managed to get them a card and stickers, and they asked us where their gift was!
